It’s crazy how life throws curves, produce stumbling blocks, create mountains and even holes amid what feels like you’ve finally found your groove. And then you’re lost in a matrix of confusion, stuck, scratching your head trying to remember the road you took to get here. I been there several times, but today feels like that gust of wind that took Dorothy’s ass away.

Expectations is something that people say you should not hold on tight to, but I say, with some people, you most definitely have a right to hold hands to the fire. Yes, it is true that we are all human and no one is perfect, but we have those in our lives with which we rely, or we’d like to think we can rely on. Rely on to hold our best interest at heart. Rely on to be honest with us. Rely on not to hurt us, to name a few. To experience anything contradictory to those things feels like betrayal, especially in situations where you’ve allowed yourself to be open and lowered walls to become vulnerable in ways you haven’t been in a while because now you feel safe. Then you have those moments of feeling foolish in allowing such a notion to prevail you, you know better, right? But saying shit like that does nothing for you when it comes to matters of the heart, be it romantic, familial, friendships or anything else.

I sometimes beat myself up for being such a person of heart, it’s often left me susceptible to pain and though I’ve done my best to rebuild my formidable strength, there are areas of cracks still, apparently. I guess the most important thing to be cognizant of is that there are red flags in everyone, and even though we sometimes choose to not acknowledge them for whatever reason, it’s necessary for not only our well-being, but also for our heart’s ability to be open to still love. I battle fear of being hurt in such a way to where I would have to still myself to heal all over again, but anyone would who spent time rebuilding themselves.

I guess the lesson to be learned is to always remain vigilant in being sober-minded, and I’m not speaking of not getting drunk, but of being fully aware as to not let exceptions minimize your expectations in those with whom you should be able to reasonably hold some to. When people say they care about you and/or love you, the actions that follow should be the harvested fruit of those words. Do not let anyone tell you differently or make you feel crazy for wanting to see proof.

* Image from Google images