So, there I was, standing in front of my elaborately composed 2020 vision board I created at then end of 2019. I believe in manifestation and that by putting the things I want to show up in my life in front of me, so that I can think upon them daily, they will eventually appear. How? Because by constantly seeing what you want, something in you will trigger your faith in yourself and belief that you can attain those things, then you become motivated to do something to work towards accomplishing your goals. With that in mind, I felt the need to be as specific as possible for what I wanted to come to fruition in each aspect of my life this year, and due to that, every inch of my posterboard is covered in both pictures and writings.

Ok, that’s the back story, let me get to the point.

While looking over my vision board, I begin to check off things that have shown up amid this crazy ass year. Though I encountered some down moments, overall, I have been extremely blessed. Thank you, God! Somehow, I’ve pushed past some of life’s bs and attained some significant goals that are paying off for me in huge ways. HOWEVER, as my eyes began to scroll to the right side of the board, I realized I still have yet to check off anything from this section and I feel that time is running out. Oh, what’s in “this” section you ask? It’s the section about what I want in my next man, life partner, husband. By the way, that’s all one person.

People always ask the question about how Ciara got Russell, “what prayer did you pray, sis?” I remember seeing an interview where she finally answered everyone’s questions by stating she prayed several prayers, but more importantly, she focused on what she wanted her partner to have and didn’t mention what she didn’t want them possess. BOOM! Say less Cici, I am on it! I’m already a prayer warrior, so this should be easy, right!? Nah, not at all.

Let’s be honest, we are not in control of everything that happens in our lives, we just learn to play with the cards we are dealt and try to make smart decisions that will not result in catastrophic results. As a woman with her faith in God, I have come to an understanding that He is completely in control of my life and that I must trust His timing. BUT His word says to make your petitions known (Philippians 4:6) and I do that on the daily. The thing is, we are now 73 days from the end of year and I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting for what I’ve submitted to present itself, especially since this year marks the beginning of the second phase of my life; I’m like God, what’s up? Where he at?

And then, I am drawn back to that same scripture, but this time, the first four words, “Be anxious for nothing.” (Now insert an eye-roll and deep breath, but I do not have an attitude, God). I’m just saying, 2020 is almost over, winter is coming, and I feel I’ve done the work on myself to where I’m ready for my suitable partner. For some reason, I suddenly hear my grandma’s voice saying, “God does not adhere to time.”

(Heavy sigh and eye roll) You know what, I’ma go ahead and say my prayers and continue doing what I’ve been doing until my time come.