“Alexa, play Healing by Kelly Price!”

Healing, something that many of us need, but find hard to do. It’s not something that readily comes to us; we must first acknowledge the fact that we need to heal from whatever troubles us, and then chase healing until it’s acquired and secured. It’s a messy process that can be filled with emotional highs and lows depending on the mountain you’re trying to overcome, but for me, that was my experience. Having to make the decision to sit with myself and revisit the hurtful areas of me in an effort to reconcile them, and in some instances, extract them, was not an easy feat, but produced a beautiful reward. LIBERATION!  

For four and a half years, which included going through my divorce, I struggled through my process. There were days where I battled suicidal thoughts, depression, and declarations that there was not a light at the end of the tunnel. I wanted out of the pain I encountered and there was no one who could lighten the load, no one except me and God. I had to do the work and there was no fast track through this journey because I had to learn the lessons from choices I had made, and also some errors that lead to me being out of character. The moment you are unable to recognize yourself is the moment you need to pause and fall into deep introspection before you lose yourself. I wish I had that wisdom then; I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and years, but to everything there is a reason and a season. To be honest, I’m grateful for it all because my pain produced my purpose and introduced me to myself, along with a freedom and peace that is uncompromising.

But it is due to this great work that I’ve done, working to acquire my healing, that my tolerances are low. Acquiring love for self will definitely remove the price tag from you. You begin to understand that you are priceless and should be valued as such. Today, that is the standard with which I stand upon. In the past I’ve made concessions for some in order to maintain relationships, but that was when I was of an ill mind and harboring abandonment issues. Now, my mind is renewed, my vision is restored, and my discernment is on-point. Understanding that not everyone should have access to me, I’m no longer afraid to assert my requirements for being in a healthy relationship with me, be it family, friends, romantic or any others. And what I require is simple: be accountable, be a communicator, be consistent, be honest, be trustworthy, be dependable, and most importantly, be intentional! Is that too much to ask?

I don’t ask for what I cannot do. Being a woman of my word, if I say it, I will do it, and if for some reason I am unable to perform it, I’ll communicate it and work out an alternative. This is one of the ways I am intentional with any connections I involve myself in which is why I keep my eco-system small. When you are intentional, it devoids the relationship of being one-sided, and that, my friend, is something I simply don’t tolerate! Hold up, let me be honest, unhealthy me did once upon a time, but you did read above that I put in four and half years to acquire my healing, right? Yeah, I’m not with that shit no more! I give and love on a level that allowing someone to siphon me empty is not even an option. I’ve mastered the practice of loving from a distance. I know what I deserve and to accept less from ANYONE is simply saying that the labor I put in to gain wholeness was in vain. Tuh! I know better now.

The point of it all is this, love, and value yourself enough to assert the respect and value you deserve. Regardless of tenure, if they treat you as though you’re expendable, have the tenacity to uphold your dignity and either walk away from them or love them from a distance. Remember, no matter their vision of you, you are priceless and worthy to be treated as such.

* photo courtesy of Google images